“KINKSTERS” will hit Wellington on Saturday night  for the fifth Capital Fetish Ball, and around 400 people, aged from 18 to 75, are expected.  There will be dancing and a lineup of circus and burlesque themed performances, as well as a very dark room made from nets with one red light bulb. Wendy is from Lower Hutt, a former business manager now taking time out from work for family. She will be attending her first fetish ball.

What is your fetish? 
Bondage and discipline. I am a “switch”, meaning I can either be dominant or submissive.  

When did you learn you had a fetish? 
It started when I first began enjoying sex.  I consider myself a well rounded person who is in touch with my desires.  It’s all about self discovery. I know myself better now and know exactly what I like. 

Do you have boundaries and how do you keep safe? 
Boundaries are very important. I have a partner and we have discussed this at length. Safe words are a must. This is about showing someone you love them enough to let go of control. I trust you enough to forgo my power to you. The key is to be open and honest about what each partner wants and needs. The submissive (Sub) has all the power as they choose the way they act and they choose when to say when.

How do you meet other people? 
I have a partner. Not about sleeping around for me. We meet others online in communities like Fetlife.com.  However, we always have a level of caution about who we discuss what with. Online communities are very open and supportive of others. 

Can you enjoy a partner who doesn’t enjoy your fetish? 
Yes, naturally there is a dynamic with a partner. The main thing is to be open and honest about what you “need”. B& D is not something we do all the time. Fetish for me is desire and I think that is different for everyone. 

How did you learn about the fetish ball? 
This will be my first fetish ball. I heard some whisperings last year about a ball and I also have some acquaintances who are actually performing in this year’s ball.  I understand the ball is performance based rather than a big sex party, although I am sure things will get pretty horny. 

What do you say to people who disapprove?
I think they probably misunderstand what a fetish actually is. I know it’s not for everyone. I’m happy with who I am. I am not harming anyone else. We are two consenting adults and okay with who we are.

Capital Fetish Ball, Bodega, 9pm, August 25.