IN this last of the latest series, let’s have a jolly good look at supporters.
Supporters aren’t easily classified as players and administrators are, but usually fall into one of several general camps – looney good, looney bad, long-suffering (come on in, Otago rugby supporters!), corporate, escapists, or the third cousin twice removed category.
Supporters in the looney good category tend to be like English football fans. At the first football match I attended in the UK, the Manchester United fans let rip with; “United, United, rah, rah, rah; Scousers, Scousers, lock your car!”
The Phoenix Yellow Fever or Beige Brigade fans are the best example of looney good in New Zealand. Other looney goods include those people who wait for hours in pouring rain to get a player’s autograph, those who support teams through thick and thin (hello Liverpool fans!) and those who support their favourite club through annual merchandise purchases. They’re the ones painting the NZRFU HQ pink in the middle of the night if the Sevens gets shifted from Wellington.
The looney bad, on the other hand, bring a wholly different approach to supporting sport. Whilst not at the level of Robert De Niro’s character in The Fan, these are people who often go one step too far in their fan-dom. I spent a bit of time in London watching Chelsea’s home games. Many of their fans back then were looney bad. I got smacked one day for not celebrating hard enough when Gianluca Vialli extracted a dubious penalty.  
Another day, wandering out of the ground behind two likely lads after a match against Arsenal, one grabbed a visiting fan and said “What’s the difference between an Arsenal supporter and an onion? No one cries when you chop up an Arsenal fan.” I didn’t hang around to find out if they were joking. My wife is often considered in this category, but she’s just passionate (and has Tourettes).
In Godzone, the closest thing we have to looney bad are Canterbury rugby supporters. Humourless, brainless, and living in the violent crime capital of New Zealand, it’s hard not to see how this could happen.
The long sufferers don’t necessarily love or hate their team, but they’ve been going to games for so long they feel they have to turn up in case something happens. Generally can be found in pubs afterwards having a moan, or a celebratory (but not too celebratory) pint with other long sufferers or escapists. Long sufferers also include those who go to games just to get some time with their partner.
Escapists are closely related to long sufferers, but generally go to games as it’s their rare opportunity to escape home life. Their one day a week when they can shuffle off domesticity to remind themselves what life used to be like before they were married. I should note at this point it’s not just blokes:  why do you think netball gets such great crowds in Southland and Canterbury?
The corporate supporter is generally there due to sponsorship commitments. Many wish they were at home with a nice cognac, others take the opportunity to recover some of their sponsorship through alcohol consumption, and others use it to get closer to that bloke they want to sell widgets to who won’t return their phone calls.
The third cousin twice removed category are those who turn up because everyone else is doing it. They have no real interest, but all their friends are going to be there and they’ve heard there might be some fun somewhere along the way. Generally found at the Sevens.