All the letters that poured in from cyclists about last week’s column really deserve a response. I appreciated the comments (and humour) and genuinely apologise if I in any way suggested that bad behaviour by motorists towards cyclists is acceptable.  It is not and never will be.
As one rider noted, the column tends to be “tongue in cheek”, and on this one occasion my tongue may have gone past my inner cheek and wrapped itself temporarily round my brain, starving it of oxygen.  
Some people think it would be a better world if more people took up cycling.  Probably would be, eventually. But in the short term I think the quickest enhancement of road safety would be achieved by removing the licences of most drivers.   
I say this because a car is a big, powerful piece of engineering and technology that often carries more than one person, and always moves through spaces where other people’s lives depend on the diligence of all drivers.
In the modern age, drivers don’t take their role seriously enough. Instead of driving, they’re talking, eating, drinking, listening to music and talkback and motivational tapes, using cellphones, earbashing children and daydreaming about things.  Sometimes they’ve had little sleep the night before, had a glass of wine before getting in the car, or even left home late and are in a bit of a hurry.  
My point is: you would not accept any of these behaviours from an airline pilot, or a ferry captain, or a bus driver, a truckie, or a taxi driver. These people take their roles deadly seriously.  
It should also be noted that most motorists don’t check their tyre pressures and oil, clean their windows of dirt and condensation, or show courtesy to others (for example, by letting in cars coming from side streets).
 You should never drive too closely behind other cars. If you leave enough room you will never be able to hit another car. Anyone who manages to hit another car, or a cyclist, or a pedestrian, should quite simply never be allowed to drive again. We’d do the same with airline pilots, so why not with drivers?
 And “slow drivers” are worse than criminals. I think you should be allowed to drive as slowly as you want, but on condition you never hold up other road-users. If you see someone behind you, simply pull over and let them pass.
The ignorant pigs who currently specialise in slowing up traffic should have their vehicles confiscated and, to borrow Judith Collins’ angle on boy racers, crushed flat.  And good riddance.
 I would also advocate for drivers keeping their windows down, so that they can hear, see, smell the world around them and give clearer signals to other road-users.
To Wellington’s wonderful lycra Cavalry, I say, “Keep pumping!”