The handball goal
Paddy Lewis
I’M not sure why Ricki Herbert and the Phoenix got so upset after Chris Payne’s handball goal last Saturday.
Everyone knows you can’t trust Australians to do the right thing, and the Aussies are known for omitting the phrase “fair play” in favour of “whatever it takes”.
Things calmed down a bit on Sunday though, with goalie Liam Reddy admitting “If you talk to any Phoenix player in the same situation I’m sure he’d be doing exactly the same thing.”
Ahem indeed. Notwithstanding that the Phoenix were getting opened up on Saturday more often than a cocaine smuggler’s suitcase at customs, the non-goal could have been crucial. The initial furious reaction was replaced by a more perplexing one.
Captain Andrew Durante, when asked if Payne should have fessed up, said “It’s a tough one. What’s he going to do - turn around and say don’t give the goal?”
Ah, yep Andy. That’s a good start. This isn’t Waterside Karori thirds playing a knockabout game, it’s a televised match where every angle is covered.
Payne knew he had done wrong – you could see it in his face. When he realised the ref was to do nothing about it, he kicked off the celebrations.
I’m prepared to give Reddy and Durante’s statements the benefit of the doubt, even though they are also both Australians.
Payne would surely have earned the ire of his teammates for a while had he said “fair go, I handballed it.” He would, however, have merely met the general standard for sportsmanship.
Instead, he placed himself in the Australian sporting pantheon alongside such other luminaries as Greg Chappell. For Durante and Reddy to say what they did puts an ugly slur on what turned out to be a wonderful season for the Nix.
Speaking of Australians, I noted former NZ Test opener Mark Richardson saying he would be shocked if any of the Black Caps sledged Aussie Michael Clarke over his break-up with Ms High Maintenance Lara Bingle.
So he wants us to go easy on the Kings of Sledging? Please. Even if the story about the Aussie slip cordon whispering “choo choo” as Chris Cairns came out to bat after far his sister was killed in a train crash is apocryphal, the Australians have been doing it to us for ages. And who can forgot Andrew Symonds crying crocodile tears over Harbajan Singh calling him a “monkey”, only to reveal later he had started it by making a racial sledge at Singh?
The government’s whole “let’s catch up with Australia” business has always been dubious to me. The Aussie bastards are probably fudging the figures to make us feel bad.
Australians (my nieces aside – for the moment anyway) cannot be trusted. They won’t necessarily use drugs to win, or hide in the bushes near the end of a marathon then jump out and win it, but they will use every underhand method at the fringes of the rulebook to win.
Whether it’s a crucial handball or a catch not taken yet claimed, they’re into it like a rat up a drainpipe. Still, there is karma – remember Australia got knocked out of the 2006 World Cup with a penalty from an Italian dive in the penalty area. With that in mind, expect Melbourne to win the A League grand final. Oh, hang on – there’s two Australian teams playing. It may be the only case where two wrongs do make a right. It’s still no consolation for the Phoenix.
Everyone knows you can’t trust Australians to do the right thing, and the Aussies are known for omitting the phrase “fair play” in favour of “whatever it takes”.
Things calmed down a bit on Sunday though, with goalie Liam Reddy admitting “If you talk to any Phoenix player in the same situation I’m sure he’d be doing exactly the same thing.”
Ahem indeed. Notwithstanding that the Phoenix were getting opened up on Saturday more often than a cocaine smuggler’s suitcase at customs, the non-goal could have been crucial. The initial furious reaction was replaced by a more perplexing one.
Captain Andrew Durante, when asked if Payne should have fessed up, said “It’s a tough one. What’s he going to do - turn around and say don’t give the goal?”
Ah, yep Andy. That’s a good start. This isn’t Waterside Karori thirds playing a knockabout game, it’s a televised match where every angle is covered.
Payne knew he had done wrong – you could see it in his face. When he realised the ref was to do nothing about it, he kicked off the celebrations.
I’m prepared to give Reddy and Durante’s statements the benefit of the doubt, even though they are also both Australians.
Payne would surely have earned the ire of his teammates for a while had he said “fair go, I handballed it.” He would, however, have merely met the general standard for sportsmanship.
Instead, he placed himself in the Australian sporting pantheon alongside such other luminaries as Greg Chappell. For Durante and Reddy to say what they did puts an ugly slur on what turned out to be a wonderful season for the Nix.
Speaking of Australians, I noted former NZ Test opener Mark Richardson saying he would be shocked if any of the Black Caps sledged Aussie Michael Clarke over his break-up with Ms High Maintenance Lara Bingle.
So he wants us to go easy on the Kings of Sledging? Please. Even if the story about the Aussie slip cordon whispering “choo choo” as Chris Cairns came out to bat after far his sister was killed in a train crash is apocryphal, the Australians have been doing it to us for ages. And who can forgot Andrew Symonds crying crocodile tears over Harbajan Singh calling him a “monkey”, only to reveal later he had started it by making a racial sledge at Singh?
The government’s whole “let’s catch up with Australia” business has always been dubious to me. The Aussie bastards are probably fudging the figures to make us feel bad.
Australians (my nieces aside – for the moment anyway) cannot be trusted. They won’t necessarily use drugs to win, or hide in the bushes near the end of a marathon then jump out and win it, but they will use every underhand method at the fringes of the rulebook to win.
Whether it’s a crucial handball or a catch not taken yet claimed, they’re into it like a rat up a drainpipe. Still, there is karma – remember Australia got knocked out of the 2006 World Cup with a penalty from an Italian dive in the penalty area. With that in mind, expect Melbourne to win the A League grand final. Oh, hang on – there’s two Australian teams playing. It may be the only case where two wrongs do make a right. It’s still no consolation for the Phoenix.
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