THERE are some mad buggers in Nelson who believe the US Government is part of a shadowy conspiracy to wipe out part of the world’s population by using jets to dump aluminum, barium, strontium, and whatever else via those wispy vapours you sometimes see high in the sky.
Judging by the comments and links, there’s plenty of nutbars out there who agree that Nelson is specifically being targeted to assist in the depopulation of Earth to a manageable level.
While I would have chosen the Horowhenua myself, this conspiracy theory is about as believable as any Green Party policy on good parenting.
It’s a bit like listening to anything Peter de Villiers, the Springbok coach says.  Last week we had de Villiers saying everything from the All Blacks were cheats to blaming referees to the absurd claim the All Blacks were allowed to win as a marketing ploy for next year’s World Cup.
Coming from a bloke who said, “I’m a God-given talent, I’m the best I can ever be. So what you think doesn’t bother me. I know what I am and I don’t give a damn,” all of that isn’t surprising.
What is surprising is that de Villiers apologized for criticizing the referees.  Especially after the South African rugby union forced rugby broadcaster Fox Sports to broadcast its own apology after Aussie rugby great Brendan Cannon said what we all thought before Saturday’s Test in Sydney.
“I can’t believe that senior players like John Smit and Victor Matfield allow themselves to be controlled by this guy,” Cannon said. “He is a clown. He surely does not coach the team.”
Saturday night proved that.  How can anyone lose to Australia?  Now all we need is de Villiers to play a) the racism card or b) discover the website of the loonies from Nelson and claim there’s an Australasian plot to put aluminium in his coffee every morning.
Sport loves personalities.  Sports journos love a good quote.  Unfortunately, all we get these days are the odd quotes from left field.
This is because sports (especially the major ones) control the media to the nth degree.  You can’t talk to players.  They might say something odd.
Coaches have been given a frontal lobotomy, because instead of saying “our first five was crap” they say “the team struggled to express themselves”.  Do they get picked for their expressive ability?  If so, they should go and join a fricking drama group.  Or paint.
Peter de Villiers is a loon too far, but a bit of personality and truth wouldn’t go astray in our local sporting circles.
I’ve gone through a rugby season with a coach who is not afraid to call out under-performers.  At the risk of appearing old, in my day, you either hardened up or went home, and it was usually the former.  Now, tell a player their weaknesses, and you’re likely never to see them again – unless it’s on the other team, where another coach is prepared to blow smoke up their gizzif just to have them on the field.
A commentator I have a bit to do with tells me we should be more about “inclusion” and “fairness” and I should spend more time “delving into the psyche”.
**** that.  If I wanted flower-sniffers and fruitbats running my team, I’d employ Peter “Chicken Little” de Villiers.
It is easy for the Nelson lunatic fringe and Peter de Villiers and plenty of others to blame something else for their (or their teams’) faults.
Whatever happened to hardening up?  Or is it just too difficult?