This makes my blood boil
Martin Doyle
IT’S time we got to grips with lobsters.
Although we may or may not be equipped for the fight, in evolutionary terms, lobsters are far older than the human race. By rights, we should show them more respect than we do. But there’s something ugly, savage, iron-sided and threatening about them. Not to mention those creepy feelers sticking out of their heads. And it’s because of their ability to make us feel uncomfortable that we eat them.
The best way to cook a lobster is to grab it by its back legs and drop it, usually writhing epileptically, into a large pot of boiling water. Several minutes of boiling brings about a delicious flavour that diners always adore. However, some people think this cooking method is cruel because the lobsters suffer horribly as they die. It’s like being sauna-ed to death and then being devoured by your host. Others say the lobsters are too dumb to feel pain. And if you worry, just deep-freeze them (to numb them) before boiling. Whatever.
Eating lobster, or crayfish, is one of the pleasures of living in New Zealand. It’s a beautiful food. Savoured not just here, but throughout the world. I’d imagine that many tourists coming for the RWC will be looking forward to sampling our crayfish while they’re here. And for their benefit, and also that of restaurateurs and caterers throughout New Zealand, we all have a collective responsibility to handle and present food in the most hygienic way we possibly can.
All of which brings me to this potty idea of spending nearly $400,000 on building public toilets shaped like big red lobsters down on our waterfront. Wellington, as far as I can see, runs its public facilities extremely well. There’s no question about that. Even the money is something I’m happy for the experts to sort out. But what is wrong, and will do our city (if not country) immense damage is if we combine (even by suggestion) a famous food (the lobster) with toilets. They should not be linked like this. We’re an hygienic nation. In particular, we wash our hands after going to the loo; we keep toilets and food well apart [New Zealand law requires two doors between loos and kitchens].
The Crayfish Crapper concept is not “iconic”, as some have said, it’s moronic. And be warned: it’s a ‘dirty’ association that will take New Zealand many long years to wipe away. [Just wait till the foreign Cup journalists get a bit bored in a few months time.]
In Kaikoura, there’s an eating place with a giant red 3D crayfish on the roof. It’s fun, it’s vivid, and it communicates the idea of ‘food’. World Cup tourists who come to Wellington, though, won’t know if they’re going to get grippers or gripes if they nose around on our waterfront. Why oh why didn’t we toss this undersized brainwave when we could have? It’s enough to make your blood boil.
Although we may or may not be equipped for the fight, in evolutionary terms, lobsters are far older than the human race. By rights, we should show them more respect than we do. But there’s something ugly, savage, iron-sided and threatening about them. Not to mention those creepy feelers sticking out of their heads. And it’s because of their ability to make us feel uncomfortable that we eat them.
The best way to cook a lobster is to grab it by its back legs and drop it, usually writhing epileptically, into a large pot of boiling water. Several minutes of boiling brings about a delicious flavour that diners always adore. However, some people think this cooking method is cruel because the lobsters suffer horribly as they die. It’s like being sauna-ed to death and then being devoured by your host. Others say the lobsters are too dumb to feel pain. And if you worry, just deep-freeze them (to numb them) before boiling. Whatever.
Eating lobster, or crayfish, is one of the pleasures of living in New Zealand. It’s a beautiful food. Savoured not just here, but throughout the world. I’d imagine that many tourists coming for the RWC will be looking forward to sampling our crayfish while they’re here. And for their benefit, and also that of restaurateurs and caterers throughout New Zealand, we all have a collective responsibility to handle and present food in the most hygienic way we possibly can.
All of which brings me to this potty idea of spending nearly $400,000 on building public toilets shaped like big red lobsters down on our waterfront. Wellington, as far as I can see, runs its public facilities extremely well. There’s no question about that. Even the money is something I’m happy for the experts to sort out. But what is wrong, and will do our city (if not country) immense damage is if we combine (even by suggestion) a famous food (the lobster) with toilets. They should not be linked like this. We’re an hygienic nation. In particular, we wash our hands after going to the loo; we keep toilets and food well apart [New Zealand law requires two doors between loos and kitchens].
The Crayfish Crapper concept is not “iconic”, as some have said, it’s moronic. And be warned: it’s a ‘dirty’ association that will take New Zealand many long years to wipe away. [Just wait till the foreign Cup journalists get a bit bored in a few months time.]
In Kaikoura, there’s an eating place with a giant red 3D crayfish on the roof. It’s fun, it’s vivid, and it communicates the idea of ‘food’. World Cup tourists who come to Wellington, though, won’t know if they’re going to get grippers or gripes if they nose around on our waterfront. Why oh why didn’t we toss this undersized brainwave when we could have? It’s enough to make your blood boil.
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