Ahh shaddupa you face
Martin Doyle
There’s a small matter I’m going to have to heavy you about this week.
Well, “small” isn’t quite the right word. The actual problem is obesity. To be honest, I’ve never really taken any notice of it. I know it’s been in the media a lot. But so what – the media stuff issues down our throats all the time and then those issues go away and are replaced by new ones. There’s always something eating someone out there, and whatever the current gripe is always makes a good headline for the papers. Call me cynical but I don’t trust the media when it pretends to “care” about issues. And it’s simply because of this lunging from one faddish issue to another all the time.
Examples of media fads in recent years include anorexia (everyone’s too thin), the Y2 bug (all computers were going to crash in 2000), global warming (try telling that to Wellingtonians), and now, hogging the limelight in the new century, obesity. However, there’s one sure-fire way of telling if an issue is a media beat-up or for real: it’s when the disturbing images are no longer just on TV but right in front of your own eyes. And with Obesity, it’s in our face.
Round Wellington it’s almost commonplace now to find yourself talking to intelligent, well-dressed people clutching cellphones who also happen to have big double chins, inflated torsos and backsides like elephants. And that’s just the teenagers. Health stats suggest a quarter to a third of Wellington adults are now obese. It’s not good, and it’s not going to get any better. But cheer up, there is an answer. And when you’re dealing with a big problem like widespread obesity, you don’t want waffly answers. You want something that will work. You want facts. Well here are two boney facts that will take a big load off your mind.
Fact One: You get fat by eating. Fact Two: If you want to lose weight, stop eating. [That’s it. We have a winner!]
Supermarkets probably have a lot to answer for, too. Every week every Wellingtonian finds themselves waddling up and down those endless aisles of packets and cans filling up their shopping trolleys. It’s a listless labyrinth of lard out of which few people will ever emerge with lean limbs. It’s a mindless maze where obesity is force-fed into innocent consumers. We just have to stop eating (so much). Shut our gobs.
It actually reminds me of a wonderful song that was Number One on the NZ charts about 30 years ago: Ahh Shaddupa You Face. At that time, Joe Dolce was doing a take-off of how his Italian grandparents back in Painesville, Ohio used to bark at him for talking too much. Although its raucous, rollicking style might not satisfy modern PC-marinated tastes, that song (or at least its title) would make the ideal battle hymn if Wellington ever decides to go to war against obesity.
Well, “small” isn’t quite the right word. The actual problem is obesity. To be honest, I’ve never really taken any notice of it. I know it’s been in the media a lot. But so what – the media stuff issues down our throats all the time and then those issues go away and are replaced by new ones. There’s always something eating someone out there, and whatever the current gripe is always makes a good headline for the papers. Call me cynical but I don’t trust the media when it pretends to “care” about issues. And it’s simply because of this lunging from one faddish issue to another all the time.
Examples of media fads in recent years include anorexia (everyone’s too thin), the Y2 bug (all computers were going to crash in 2000), global warming (try telling that to Wellingtonians), and now, hogging the limelight in the new century, obesity. However, there’s one sure-fire way of telling if an issue is a media beat-up or for real: it’s when the disturbing images are no longer just on TV but right in front of your own eyes. And with Obesity, it’s in our face.
Round Wellington it’s almost commonplace now to find yourself talking to intelligent, well-dressed people clutching cellphones who also happen to have big double chins, inflated torsos and backsides like elephants. And that’s just the teenagers. Health stats suggest a quarter to a third of Wellington adults are now obese. It’s not good, and it’s not going to get any better. But cheer up, there is an answer. And when you’re dealing with a big problem like widespread obesity, you don’t want waffly answers. You want something that will work. You want facts. Well here are two boney facts that will take a big load off your mind.
Fact One: You get fat by eating. Fact Two: If you want to lose weight, stop eating. [That’s it. We have a winner!]
Supermarkets probably have a lot to answer for, too. Every week every Wellingtonian finds themselves waddling up and down those endless aisles of packets and cans filling up their shopping trolleys. It’s a listless labyrinth of lard out of which few people will ever emerge with lean limbs. It’s a mindless maze where obesity is force-fed into innocent consumers. We just have to stop eating (so much). Shut our gobs.
It actually reminds me of a wonderful song that was Number One on the NZ charts about 30 years ago: Ahh Shaddupa You Face. At that time, Joe Dolce was doing a take-off of how his Italian grandparents back in Painesville, Ohio used to bark at him for talking too much. Although its raucous, rollicking style might not satisfy modern PC-marinated tastes, that song (or at least its title) would make the ideal battle hymn if Wellington ever decides to go to war against obesity.
Have Your Say
0 Comments
No comments.