Sport

Stories

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  All the bells and whistles

  IF you’d looked for Brent Wilson at last year’s Wellington Sevens, you would have instead found a railway crossing complete with ringing bells and flashing lights. The Christchurch-based electrical engineer has been coming to the tournament with friends… Continue

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  Dress up, cash in

  IF you’re headed to the Sevens rugby tournament in early February there’s now a tasty temptation to spend time on a cool outfit. Museum Art Hotel owner Chris Parkin is donating $25,000 in prize money for the best costumes, which will be paraded along… Continue

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  We have wind

  Local mariners led by the Royal Port Nicholson Yacht Club are tonight, 25 January, launching a bid to develop Wellington as an international yachting centre, a marine industry hub, an ocean water sports centre, and a sailing academy with its own local yacht racing… Continue

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  Start your engines

  Test the seal in Seaview this Sunday at the annual Port Road street sprints.  The road will be closed for registered motorsport drivers to thrash their cars around a marshalled track aiming for the best time possible. Registrations are now open online. Port… Continue

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  Sandy toes

  This Wellington Anniversary Monday, January 23, sees Oriental Beach alive with activity as NZ Beach Soccer Championships presents the Wellington Beach Football Tournament. The sport is played in a more improvised style than regular football because of the sand.… Continue

• Get out, get about

  There’s no excuse not to lace up, block up, get wet and get active this summer as a whole host of sporty activities has been announced as part of the city council’s Summer City events programme. The Push Play activities that began in late December at… Continue

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  All cricket and no play

  New Zealand cricket got a shot in the arm with the  Blackcaps’ historic win over Australia according to up and coming Firebirds hotshot Luke Woodcock. Niels Reinsborg chatted to him. IT’S a good thing for Luke Woodcock that he’s pretty… Continue

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  Gone with the wind

  ERIC Torvelainen is one of a handful of people who look forward to a biting southerly. The young engineer grew up in Tauranga and began windsurfing with his dad on the weekends, using “some old gear that was floating around”. He moved to Christchurch… Continue

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  Game time for bikers

  A new game looks like it will speed up Wellington cyclists. It attracts players whose wheels of choice include road bikes, mountain bikes, and even those foldout cycle contraptions. Wellopoly, which embraces the unusual combination of cycling and Monopoly, takes… Continue

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  Maori warriors to battle the bulge

  THE Heart Foundation is bringing back an old game played by the Maori Battalion to stop New Zealanders getting slower and fatter. Ki o Rahi is a ball game used by the quick, agile Maoris of yesteryear to settle differences without going to war. These days, New… Continue

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  Dirty riders

  THESE Wellington girls like brown more than pink, camelbaks better than handbags and would choose a chain ring over a diamond ring any day. They are the Women of Dirt, a six hour mountain bike event for women taking place at the Makara mountain bike park in… Continue

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  Salute for local boys

  WELLINGTONIANS will get to taste from the cup of victory this afternoon as the All Blacks parade through the central city. The parade starts with a Mayoral reception in Civic Square at 12.15pm before heading down Mercer Street and along Willis Streets to Lambton… Continue

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  Summer bunnies

  THE first sun of summer will soon rise, on December 1, and it traditionally brings a fat pile of self-loathing. Wellington gyms say there’s a rush of people signing up to get in shape for summer and there’s also an unhealthy tradition of gym attendees… Continue

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  Happy birthday to us

  Capital Times celebrates 37 years as Wellington’s independent newspaper. In the midst of the RWC buzz we begin another year of giving you the Best of Wellington. Our annual Best of Wellington poll, results published last week, (a 16% increase in responses,… Continue

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  What a weekend

  IT’S as we expected. Rugby supporters in Wellington for the weekend were well behaved. Around 20,000 Welsh, Irish, Springboks and Wallabies fans were in town and as many as 70,000 people packed out the city centre on Saturday night. Wellington Police… Continue

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  Anxiety choked out

  AMY Westrupp considers choking-out her dad at Brazilian jiu-jitsu, “family time”. “It’s a good way to spend time with him, and beat him up,” she grins. Brazilian jiu-jitsu, or BJJ, is all about defence, and works on the premise… Continue

• A kick and a promise

  THE Rugby World Cup promised a boom for city retailers. Capital Times asked city businesses whether the hype has been delivered. Reputation destroyed The Courtenay quarter’s reputation is being destroyed by the City Council according to Hummingbird’s… Continue

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  Wellingtonians are the best - 2011 poll results

  WELLINGTONIANS are eclectic, busy and a little bit nuts and live in a city where the breeze keeps the air clean and the Aucklanders away. Just some of your verdicts about the city we all call home revealed by readers in the Capital Times’ Best of Wellington… Continue

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  Saving the Basin

  AFTER months of ignoring an alternative design to its controversial flyover options for the Basin Reserve, the New Zealand Transport Agency is now considering the design. Known as Option X, the plan by the Wellington Architectural Centre puts a tunnel under the… Continue

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  Cricket ticking along nicely

  NEW Zealand has gone rugby mad, but numbers of kids signing up to play cricket are up, with the weather also playing its part, says Bryan Dickinson from Wellington Cricket. “We’re heading into a great season of cricket, with seniors beginning October… Continue

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  From the dark a son has risen

  ABOUT 15 years ago, it was reported that only two teenagers had been expelled for drugs that year, one from Onslow College and one from Wellington High. Tommy Benefield was the teenager, expelled from both schools in a space of four months. Benefield, who grew… Continue

• Feel the force: rugby according to Jedi

  JED Thian, known as Jedi, provides alternative rugby commentary for those who want a light-hearted take on a tournament that’s being taken very seriously. He sits on the microphone at The Green Man pub, where half the screens are set up to show the game… Continue

• Happy police

  CROWDS of rugby fans who turned out to watch the Scotland versus Argentina game at the Westpac Trust stadium on September 25 were well-behaved, say Wellington Police. “With only five arrests and 11 evictions, we were very pleased with crowd behaviour,”… Continue

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  Wellington skates on again

  GLIDING and sliding around the waterfront will be an option for Wellingtonians for a month from September 30. Plans for a temporary ice rink, under the sails on Queens Wharf next to the TSB Bank Arena, include attracting 30,000 skaters; visitors to the Rugby… Continue

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  Rhodes Kiwi to swim English Channel

  SWIMMING the English Channel without a wetsuit is a tall order, but it’s exactly what Wellington woman Nina Hall is going to do any day now as part of the Rhodes scholar women’s relay team. Hall, who went to local schools Clyde Quay and Samuel Marsden,… Continue

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  A hug for the Basin

  THE Basin Reserve iconic cricket ground will get a loving ‘hug of protection’ from opponents of the New Zealand Tranport Agency’s proposed flyover. The event, at noon on September 25, is to highlight the Basin Reserve roading options. The two… Continue

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  Scottish for the moment

  HARRY Oakley has taken over Sea Lion, an old Australian work boat which lives at Queen’s wharf, and declared it Scottish.  Harry is a Glaswegian who now lives in Spain and he’s come to New Zealand especially to see his family who live on board… Continue

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  Cheerleading for R16s

  DEATH by Cheerleader is R16 for a reason. The racy play was supposed to show the serious side of the often stereotyped sport, giving well-educated women the respect they deserve. But no one wants to see a serious show about cheerleading, says starring actress Claire… Continue

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  Woolly story

  GERMANY had Paul the octopus who accurately predicted the outcome of World Cup matches and now Wellington has Sonny Wool. Sonny is a three year old sheep born in Dannevirke, but he is in Wellington for the next six weeks to demonstrate his psychic abilities.… Continue

• 2000 people probably not lost

  KiwiRail was enthusiastic about its train service after Wellington’s experiences around last Sunday’s South Africa v Wales rugby. We think everyone must have had a great time” reports KiwiRail’s Kimberley Brady, “because we brought… Continue

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  Rugby in Tulips

  DID you know that our Botanical Gardens have been affected by the Christchurch earthquakes? They have, and rather charmingly. Three years ago Dale Sutch, collection curator at the Botanic Gardens, got involved in planning a ‘country emblem’ section… Continue

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  Is this a good sign?

  A sign causing offence outside a brothel in Dixon St has been removed. A complaint last week from Family First about the unattractive sign saying “Cum and Get Yours’ led to the Wellington City Council saying it is responsible only if a sign breaks… Continue

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  Relating to dance

  JULIAN Pellizzaro sees a dance partnership as a relationship. Funny, then, that he dances between lots of different women. Jokes aside, the elements of any decent relationship are there: you’re strangers at the beginning and you develop an intense interaction.… Continue

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  Going Dutch

  DID you know the largest korfball facility outside of Holland is right here in Wellington at the new Indoor Community Sports Centre?  The largest what? When I think of Holland I think of windmills, wooden shoes and a stoic willingness to plug leaking dykes… Continue

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  Rugby explained

  IT’S a bustling Saturday night in Wellington. Crowds of rowdy rugby fanatics are on the town and the All Blacks’ game lights up the big screen. The ref blows his whistle and makes a call - wild hand gestures and all - and the pub bursts into shouts… Continue

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  Get the kids away from the play stations!

  IT’S time to dust off the trainers and bust out the gym shorts. The Wellington Indoor Community Sports Centre in Cobham Park, Kilbirnie, is ready to open after 18 months of construction, but ICSC manager Craig Hutchings wants to clarify a widespread misconception… Continue

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  Fitness without the gym

  A fitness class that gets you out of the gym and into the fresh air is leaving people breathless. Evolution Night has been developed by Wellington’s parkour practioners and every Monday night classes are held at the top of Frank Kitts Park. “It’s… Continue

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  Some dance with your rugby

  With the Rugby World Cup now only weeks away auditions for performers to entertain the crowds at the Westpac stadium are under way. Dance teacher Catherine Reid is assembling a squad of 16 dancers to perform at the Canada vs France match on September 18, and when… Continue

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  Tourists green with envy

  IT’S well-known as beautiful, green, and tourist-attracting, but the sale of genuine New Zealand greenstone or “pounamu” is being threatened by cheap, imported imitation pieces that go for a song. These mass produced souvenirs are mainly made… Continue

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  Up the pole

  FORGET what you thought you knew about pole dancing, it’s now a sport and fitness discipline and even men are taking to the pole. Last weekend the Wellington heat of the New Zealand Amateur Pole Performer Competition was held at the Garden Club and among… Continue

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  Famous visitor a rare treat

  WELLINGTON is to host the world’s rarest parrot. Wellington’s Zealandia has announced Sirocco the kakapo will be living at the ecosanctuary for about three months from the end of September. It is the first time Wellington has hosted an adult bird.… Continue

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  Hip hop to the world

  THIRTY young dancers will leave Wellington for Las Vegas later this month to compete in the largest hip hop event in the world. They’ll make up the largest group of dancers ever to represent New Zealand. The two dance crews from Wellington hip hop school,… Continue

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  Take the plunge

  IT’s time to get active this winter, and an icy dip in the ocean will get the blood flowing. The annual polar plunge is on again this year with hundreds expected to turn out for the midwinter swim on the Petone foreshore on July 16. A gold coin donation… Continue

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  Paddling the waka

  THIS sport combines physical activity with the ancient traditions of the Pacific. Waka ama (outrigger canoeing) is gaining in popularity with men and women of all ages and ethnicities involved in the sport. Christine Fox, Vice-President of the Hoe Tonga Waka Ama… Continue

• A fishy tale

  A Wellington fisherman knew he’d found something unusual when he caught a large spotted fish in Cook Strait this week. Island Bay Marine Education Centre staff identified it as a spotted black groper, a tropical fish usually found in rocky reefs and estuaries… Continue

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  Looking at Wellington’s future

  THE future has come to Wellington with two interactive exhibitions exploring what the city might look like in 2040. The exhibition Toward 2040: Smart Green Wellington, has been set up in large shipping containers at Te Aro Park and on the waterfront by the Wharewaka.… Continue

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  Long Pathway on track

  THE final link in the walking track from Island Bay to Levin has been completed with the opening of the Pukeatua Track at the weekend. The Pukeatua Track, extending from Otaki Forks to Waikanae, was opened by the Conservation Minister, Kate Wilkinson, and already… Continue

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  Cycle city

  The road to making Wellington an accessible city for cyclists has been long and fraught with difficulties; much like riding over our hills and into our winds. But recent signs suggest Wellington is on it’s way to becoming a true cycle city. Melody Thomas… Continue

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  Vida longa ao samba!

  Keen to get involved with Rugby World Cup celebrations, but not sure how? Why not learn to samba, and take part in Wellington’s own carnival. Dance teacher, performer, circus artist and student Clo Mudrik has been dancing the Brazilian samba since she… Continue

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  Trouble at the pool

  SWIMMERS say common sense has gone out the window at Freyberg Pool; to meet “health and safety requirements”. Kirsten Cameron is a New Zealand distance freestyle and open water swimmer who swims about 60km a week, much of that at Freyberg. Until recently… Continue

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  What if we lose?

  LET’S hope a play about New Zealand’s defeat at the 1995 Rugby World Cup isn’t an omen of things to come. Downstage Theatre’s production of Roger Hall’s one man show C’mon Black opens this week but producer, Dave Armstrong,… Continue

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  Run your heart out

  IF you’re a keen runner who’s wondered about doing a marathon, full or half, the Armstrong Motor Group Wellington Marathon is a great place to start. The event is organised by social running club the Wellington Marathon Clinic, established in 1979.… Continue

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  In for the caning

  IT was a media scrum at Hurricanes headquarters. He’d just named the team for the game against the Force, and Canes coach Mark Hammett had his interview cap on. He was on the phone doing a radio interview when Capital Times arrived for our allotted 10 minutes.… Continue

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  Moshpit on wheels

  ROLLER Derby girls are up there with people you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. A Youtube search brings up videos of women in zombie face paint, fishnet stockings and   roller skates smashing into each other, pigtails flying, surrounded by… Continue

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  You catch it, we’ll cook it

  Local restaurants are waiting for  successful hunters to bring in the pheasants, swans, and geese they’ve shot.  Their chefs want to make the birds into great dishes and serve them back to the hunters. But thus far, nobody has taken up the offer… Continue

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  Three men, three sports

  IT isn’t all gold and glory for athletes at the top of their sport. For Wellington men Mike Mercer, Casey Glover and Shaun Kavanagh their selection to represent New Zealand at the ITU Triathlon World Champs in Beijing in September has meant many hard hours… Continue

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  Getting more players on the field

  TWO more artificial sports fields are almost ready but winter sports blues may still affect Wellington players looking for a ground this season. City Council contractors are currently working to complete two artificial turfs at Wakefield Park in Island Bay. The… Continue

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  Skip to success

  SEVEN times world skipping champion Peter Nestler is in Wellington next week to teach his tricks to local children. Nestler is sharing the secrets as part of the Heart Foundation’s Jump Rope for Heart programme. The American skipping legend will demonstrate… Continue

• Top sportspeople

  OOPS, we dropped the ball. Last week Capital Times ran a list of finalists for the Wellington sportsperson of the year awards. Unfortunately it was from 2010. The 44 finalists for the 2011 awards were selected from a record 232 nominations for more than 13 categories.… Continue

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  Portrait of an artisan

  After nearly fifty years of on and off car racing Johnny Mines has won the Sports Car Club of NZ’s 2011 series in a sophisticated racing car he designed and built himself. Along that journey Mines, a cheerful petrolhead,  has revelled in his considerable… Continue

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  All aboard the adventure bus

  A ‘rogaine’ sounds like hair re-growth medication, but it’s actually a lot more fun. A form of orienteering, rogaining sees teams compete in an epic cross-country challenge.  The aim is to use route planning and navigation between checkpoints,… Continue

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  Get reel

  A THREE-day region-wide fishing competition starts next week; covering surfcasting, rock and boat fishing. Participants can fish from Castlepoint to Cape Palliser, east to Cape Terawhiti and north to the southern side of the Otaki river mouth. “It is quite… Continue

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  So much promise

  I remember being at the Hurricanes’ first match at  Westpac Stadium in 2000.  They beat the Sharks 40-23 and our bunch of bright shiny new season ticket holders thought we were on a winner. Flash stadium, covered seats, not a bad team, and some… Continue

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  Help children, beat Auckland

  DIANE Szabo wants you to know that congenital heart defects are the world’s most common birth defects, affecting 12 babies in New Zealand every week. She knows what that means, because her baby Pierce was one of them. “I was about three months pregnant… Continue

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  Duathlon for generations of women

  THREE generations of one family are amongst those taking part in the Wellington REAL women’s duathlon at Cog Park, Evans Bay Parade on Sunday. Chrissie Bell, of Napier, says her family is drawing on members from Napier, Pahiatua and Wellington to take part… Continue

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  The picture of health

  AS Nicola Cranfield talks about greens, grains and general well-being it becomes clear she could be starring in her own real life version of movie Eat Pray Love, minus the Hollywood cheese. Cranfield, a health coach in real life, is a living replica of Julia Roberts’… Continue

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  Kick off

  RUGBY World Cup celebrations are falling into place, now all the council needs to know is what you have planned. The Wellington City Council is calling for expressions of interest (EOI) from bars, restaurants, event organisers, fundraisers and others, to build… Continue

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  Made for marching

  NICOLE Adamson has great posture, thanks to years of marching. She never wanted to march, but when she was 11 she was roped in when she went to meet Shona (her Mum) who was having her marching costume altered. “There were all these girls there and they… Continue

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  Wrestle mania

  KADE Morgan grew up watching his uncle Rip Morgan and great uncle Butch Miller Bushwhacker wrestle live on TV. Now the only national third generation wrestler is keeping it in the family. From an early age Morgan watched WWF Wrestling weekly on television until… Continue

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  She’s an adrenaline junkie

  JO Morgan’s latest motorbike adventure around South America wasn’t enough so she’s going back. “It’s a bit like university on the road – you learn so much. I’m very fortunate to be able to do this. I love having adrenaline moments. You get more tolerant of close… Continue

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  Yank in training

  MY feet are my paintbrush, the pavement my canvas. I am a painter of intense, lengthy cardiovascular sojourns. I am a runner at dawn and a journalist by day. There’s nothing more satisfying than conquering Mt. Victoria, my quadriceps swelling with pain and enjoyment,… Continue

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  Hang loose

  SKATEBOARDER Mike Bancroft was injured before Bowl-a-rama, last year’s international skateboarding competition, had even begun. But he still competed. “I got hit by a car following last year’s pre-party so I didn’t do as well as I could have in the competition… Continue

• Domestic goddess

  SHE’S not just a cheerleader. Gabrielle Stewart is busy, she’s a single lady on the field, but in her other life on stage, she’s a married woman. On top of that her day job is in the Beehive as an executive assistant to Taupo MP Louise Upston. Her latest lead… Continue

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  What to wear

  FOR many the Sevens has become more about costumes and ‘dressing-up’ (or ‘dressing-down’) than sport. Capital Times spoke to Victoria University Associate Professor of Psychology Dr Marc Wilson who applies social psychological theory to important social issues.We… Continue

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  Make friends with skinny people

  SERIOUS about losing that post-Summer holiday flab? Laurence Toime, a PhD graduate from Cambridge University and former Wellingtonian, investigated the fundamental processes thought to play a role in diseases like ageing, obesity and diabetes. The findings may… Continue

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  Do tell, Jutel

  WELLINGTONIAN Annemarie Jutel is a health expert with a refreshingly different view on weight issues. She thinks fat people need to be cut some slack, although she says it more eloquently than that. “We have to liberate ourselves from the measurement stuff. There’s… Continue

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  Want to sail away?

  YOU could sail to Oriental Parade, park up your yacht, do your shopping, sip a flat white and watch your kids sail away, if you like the proposed waterfront plans. Royal Port Nicholson Yacht Club has spent nine months with the council drawing up a social restoration… Continue

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  Surf champions

  THE Titahi Bay Surf Life Saving Club has dominated the competition yet again. The first round of the national surfboat champs was held at Titahi Bay beach last weekend, and the local club beat a dozen teams, including top rivals Piha, to take the open men’s title.… Continue

• Import for Wellington

  An Australian, Damien Wright from Victoria, will play for the Wellington Firebirds at the Basin Reserve this weekend. The opening bowler will join the other international, England’s Luke Wright, on Saturday and Sunday against the Otago Volts and the Canterbury… Continue

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  Beating those Aussies

  THE ROYAL Port Nicholson Yacht Club’s under 21 match racing team is making its name in Australia. Last week Tim Coltman, Michael Trudgen, Matt Clough, and Hana Maguire beat seven other teams to clean up the Harken regatta in Newport, New South Wales, and after… Continue

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  Heartbeat

  Psychologists have found that the majority of our clearest and most vivid memories come from the period between adolescence and young adulthood, a time they call our “reminiscence bump”. Retired lawyer Doug Webb’s reminiscence bump features many memories of Miramar,… Continue

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  Drag king

  WAINUIOMATA drag racer Darren Richies is the proud recipient of four trophies after competing in the Port Road Drags over the weekend. Richies won awards for best engine and fastest closed car, as well as taking out the top class and scooping the trophy for overall… Continue

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  Fact or fiction?

  KAYLA Imrie, New Zealand representative flat water kayaker has been using a Power Balance bracelet since June this year to help her speed and power in the water. She’s no water novice, at 18 years of age she’s been a member of the Paekakariki Surf Lifesaving… Continue

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  Fashionista goes cycling

  “I don’t do sport,” says Wellington fashion guru Penny Barnett, who never has. But suddenly she does. She’s become a cyclist. From her cottage in Martinborough she has become involved with former horsewoman Catriona Williams, and her Catwalk charity for spinal… Continue

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  On yer bike!

  MOUNTAIN biking isn’t just for the super fit or experienced. Wellington City Council and Makara Peak Supporters Group are giving everyone a chance to have a go, with free guided tours of Makara Peak Mountain Bike Park – which last week tied for first in the New… Continue

• Better place to bike

  MAKING Wellington a better place is the aim of the ASB Cycle Friendly Awards. The Wellington finalists are: - Revolve Training for its down-to-earth cycling for women project, with a goal to provide a range of free or low-cost programmes, clinics, groups rides… Continue

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  Take a hike

  WELLINGTON looks set for a fine Labour Day weekend, and what better way to celebrate than with a good walk. Capital Times took a look at three top local jaunting spots. Otari-Wilton’s Bush in Karori is touted on its website as “the only public botanic garden… Continue

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  No stunt double here

  NEWTOWN’S Max Bell first came across the sport of parkour on YouTube. Parkour people get from one place to another as quickly as possible by adapting their movements to overcome any obstacle within their way. “It spread so fast online, before long it was in… Continue

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  Family ties

  WELLINGTON Phoenix player Paul Ifill and his partner have launched a T-Shirt design competition in memory of their baby cousin George. When the two visited the UK earlier this year, George, aged one, was diagnosed with cancer and he died. During filming of… Continue

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  Best of Wellington 2010 Results

  WELLINGTON may be New Zealand’s capital city, but one of our Capital Times’ readers thinks ‘it’s just a big town with a heart’. You, our readers have made some great and interesting choices.. We’ve got winners in there who’ve topped lists again and again – from… Continue

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  Smooth sailing

  WELLINGTON Olympic hopeful Josh Junior is one of two Kiwis to beat reigning world champion sailor Paul Goodison at the 2010 Laser World Championships in the UK. “It’s pretty awesome. It’s got to be my best regatta to date,” Junior, 20, said of his sixth placing… Continue

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  Video game fury

  WELLINGTON Phoenix football players are a bunch of gaming geeks. They like to relax ahead of big matches by challenging each other in video game competitions. Phoenix forward Paul Ifill is not only skilled on the field, but has skills when it comes to playing… Continue

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  Cuban revolution

  CUBAN ambassador Jose` Luis Robaina Garcia wants to make the relationship between his country and New Zealand tighter. He’s hands on with his efforts and will make a speech at the Latin American Film Festival opening night. “These films reflect Latin American… Continue

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  On the Rhode to success

  WHEN Aussie Rules footballer Andrew Rhodes moved to New Zealand at 18, he thought his days of playing the game were over. Rhodes took up Australian rules football aged six with the Ferntree Gully Eagles in Melbourne. He played for the club until he was 18, before… Continue

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  Lucky to be in Wellington

  WE’RE a year out from the Rugby World Cup on September 9 and the hype is already getting to Capital Times’ star sports journalist Paddy Lewis. He can’t understand why more emphasis hasn’t been made about the Black Fern’s four consecutive wins in the Women’s World… Continue

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  Simpson on cloud nine

  NINE seems to be the lucky number for young swimmer Billy Simpson. The nine year old from Brooklyn took nine gold medals from nine races at the Wellington Short Course Championships. He took first place in the 50 metres and 100 metres freestyle, backstroke,… Continue

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  Superbowl Wellington

  WELLINGTON Wolves president William Anaru learnt the rules to American football by playing video games with a professional NFL player. “I used to play NFL Blitz with Bryant Westbrook, who played for the Detroit Lions.” Anaru arrived in Detroit with his family… Continue

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  Futsal Brothers

  Phoenix midfielders Diego Walsh and Daniel Lins Côrtes grew up playing futsal in their native Brazil and have set up a school in Wellington to share their skills with local kids. FUTSAL has always been part of everyday life for Phoenix players Diego Walsh and… Continue

• A cyclist's jewel?

  Makara Peak is one of the best mountain bike tracks in the world, according to a travel website. But experienced biker Nick Kemp disagrees. Seattle born Nick Kemp has ridden mountain bike tracks on the west coast of America, Asia, Europe, and New Zealand,… Continue

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  The Sky is the limit

  Without the support of Wellington-based venture capital technology company No 8 Ventures, Kiwi jetpack inventor Glenn Martin wouldn’t have been able to afford to keep his machine in the country. When Inventor and engineer Glenn Martin was only four he “repaired”… Continue

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  Superleague superfan

  REGIONAL Superleague Finals competitor Olivia Dunn is a huge Silver Ferns fan. She goes to all their Wellington games, her favourite players are Temepara George and Grace Rasmussen, and she hopes to play for the team one day. So it was a dream come true when… Continue

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  Set to take on the world

  WADESTOWN student Kate McCaw is the only Wellingtonian competing at the Youth Olympic Games this month. The 17-year-old Samuel Marsden Collegiate School head prefect is one of 16 young New Zealanders chosen to join more than 3,600 athletes from around the globe… Continue

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  Return of the broken pitcher

  RISING softball star Zane Siolo has conquered the tournament that crippled him. Last year Zane ruptured three ligaments at the Men’s Friendship Tournament in Sydney, but this month he was dubbed the tournament’s Top Pitcher as the NZ Junior Black Sox took out… Continue

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  No pain, no gain: no brain

  WINTER is the season for aching bodies to play up. People are looking to get fit and beat the winter blues, but movement educator Elke Dunlop says many conceptions of how to “stay in shape” are based on faulty logic. “Actions and movements that leave the body… Continue

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  Stop, drop, and roller

  LOOK out for skimpily clad roller skating girls hitting the streets of Wellington. Rusty Stiletto and her team mates Kiri Te Karnage, and Rita Anguish will be promoting the Richter City Roller Derby’s first “bout”. A “bout” consists of two teams of five girls… Continue

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  Getting the pitch right

  SHE’s a school girl who can sing, run riot on the rugby pitch, and wants to go to France to get better at both. Sixteen year-old Fa’asua Makisi will perform in a Wellington concert alongside her opera-star uncle Ben Makisi, in a bid to raise $4,000 for a six-month… Continue

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  Local cleats for Cake Tin carnage

  HOMEGROWN All Blacks are set to hustle the boks. The line up for this weekend’s tri-nations clash against South Africa will be named tomorrow morning in Wellington, July 14. Local heroes Ma’a Nonu, Conrad Smith, Cory Jane, and Piri Weepu, who helped dominate… Continue

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  Groms get rec’d

  SKATERS may have a love affair with concrete, but wet concrete gives them the flick. For the sanity of board enthusiasts in the winter, a new competition is being launched at Kilbirnie Recreation Centre. The first ever under 12 year-old Cheapskates Grom Skateboard… Continue

• Making Manuel changes

  SPORT Wellington’s Coach of the Month has taken up a leadership mantle in one of the city’s toughest neighborhoods. With his wife Yvonne, Naenae rugby coach John Manuel has set up a rugby academy to assist students – and there will be no swearing. Manuel has… Continue

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  Our Wellington Victor

  THE parents of Wellington rugby star Victor Vito are as proud as they come. “I don’t deserve to be his dad, that’s how good he is. He has made me proud ever since he was a kid,” says father Joe Vito. Last month, while the 23 year-old Victor was preparing for… Continue

• Booked for rugby

  TWO books on important past and present rugby legends are set for release. The Legend of Beau Baxter by Ivan Dunn hits the shelves on August 1, and is set in the 1920s. It follows a fictional “Flashman” Baxter as he plays for the Maoris and – after some questionable… Continue

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  Wrestling with make-up

  ANYONE who rings the National Bank call centre might be greeted by with Matthew Wilson, aka Max “the Axe” Damage. Last year Wilson became the NZ Kiwi Pro Wrestling champion on the TV show Off the Ropes, and will defend his title at Wellington High School in two… Continue

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  Bring your blanket

  IT’S 6.30am, and Brazilian supporters at new bar Estadio in The Temperance are far from sleepy. When I arrive, members of Wellington Batucada are already beating their drums (including Brazilian percussion guru Carlos Ferreira from Melbourne-based band MelSamba),… Continue

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  Smeltz like team spirit

  Capital Times’ roaming editor Dawn Tratt is in South Africa to watch the Football World Cup, and renew her acquaintance with the African lifestyle. She tells us about watching the Kiwis play. ALL WHITES fans pashed local women, danced on hay bales and got… Continue

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  Freezing water improves performance

  THE health impacts of winter swimming extend to the bedroom. “It’s a great way to boost your chances, your fertility,” says Freyberg Beach mid-winter swim co-organiser Lindy Young. Young knows because she works at a fertility company. She says a technique recommended… Continue

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  A pitching phenomenon

  FOR a 16 year-old softball star, being confined to a wheelchair is tough going. In July last year Island Bay resident Zane Siolo was devastated to be struck down in the middle of a fantastic run of representative play. While playing in Sydney, he ruptured three… Continue

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  Blade Control

  LAST year Raynia Pikari-Kaiwai couldn’t fly a radio controlled helicopter, but now he flips his upside down and “mows the lawn” with it. A year ago, the man known as Ray or Raynman to his mates went to a Fun Fly at the Wellington Model Aeroplane Club based in… Continue

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  Futsal takes flight

  THIS is the beautiful game. It’s Wednesday night and the game between Capital City Futsal and a Brazilian select side is nearing half time. The Brazilians are drifting like phantoms across the indoor court, fully immersed in a game they have played since childhood.… Continue

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  Wellington through the oarsman’s lens

  THE capital’s first rowing crews raced in pink and white. This year the Wellington Rowing Club revived the traditional racing colours to celebrate its 125th anniversary, and is launching a limited edition book on its history this weekend. Club member Michael… Continue

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  Representing Wellington

  EMMA WEENINK is the only Wellingtonian to make the New Zealand Secondary Schools netball team, most are from Auckland and the rest from all over the country. “I was so happy,” says Weenink, who received the good news last week amid a flurry of congratulatory… Continue

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  A big hit

  WANNABE Black Cap Michael Pollard doesn’t know why he likes cricket, and he can’t remember when he started playing. He is a typical sportsman with very little to say, but his performance and achievements on the field speak volumes. The 20 year old has received… Continue

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  Save the Sevens

  FORMER All Black Christian Cullen and Wellington Central MP Grant Robertson have joined a campaign to keep the Rugby Sevens in Wellington. Save the Wellington Sevens was set up by Mount Victoria resident, Sevens-fanatic and Media 5 owner Graham Bloxham, after… Continue

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  Coombe rider

  ATHLETE Nadia Coombe enjoyed a “Screaming O” last week despite falling off her bike three times. The race, in Wainuiomata is one of many that keep the mountain biker fit and bruised. Just the way she likes it. The triathlete, second dan black belt in karate,… Continue

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  Fire and water

  CHESTER Burt comes from a long line of funeral directors. But he was “too out there” to follow in the family business – a tradition kept by his grandfather, father, and step brother – and instead became a firefighter. “I am Chester Burt IV or mark 4 in the family… Continue

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  Holland backs UK and All Whites

  FOOTBALL fanatic Matt Holland has been to every FIFA World Cup since 1998. The English-born Tuscan Raider (Fidel’s Café team), sometimes-Miramar Ranger, and five-a-side Nations United team player has tickets to all the English games in South Africa, and hopes… Continue

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  Gold Smiths?

  SPEED equals danger when powerboating. Wellington’s Kelly Smith and dad Grant feared for their lives when their Rayglass superboat flipped at speed. “We hit a rogue wave and did 180 degrees,” says Kelly Smith. “My hatch wouldn’t open. I was petrified. We were… Continue

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  Mountain Kate

  TRIATHLETE and mountain running champion Kate McIlroy was fast asleep when Capital Times called to talk about her chances of winning the New Zealand Cup Championship and Oceania Championship titles in Wellington this weekend. Training at high altitude is really… Continue

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  Horsey handstands

  IT’S hard enough executing a neat handstand or cartwheel on terra firma let alone on horseback. The Kapiti Equestrian and Vaulting Club will demonstrate the art of performing tricks on trotting or cantering horses at Waitangi Park this weekend, and the club’s… Continue

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  Life is a skate park

  Go out to Waitangi Park on a sunny day in the weekend, and you will hear the swish of wheels rolling on concrete, crack of wood hitting the ground, and the occasional grunt of pain. Mostly though, you will hear cheers of triumph. Skateboarding is more than just… Continue

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  Cooper trooper

  In the lead up to the Hurricanes’ second home game of the Super 14, coach Colin Cooper comments on the irony of captain Andrew Hore playing hooker, and the likelihood Wellington will win the competition. COLIN Cooper is cool as a cucumber. Fresh off the field… Continue

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  Go West

  PHOENIX FC and the Hurricanes have much in common. Not only are they our regional sports teams – in soccer and rugby – sharing the Westpac Stadium as their home turf, but both will face-off against Perth at the stadium this weekend. The Hurricanes play their… Continue

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  Wellington warrior

  Charlie Gubb has had a happy time growing up in Wellington, playing rugby at Wellington College and league for the University Hunters. Now he’s spreading his wings. NINETEEN year old Charlie Gubb had a big decision to make before Christmas. The New Zealand… Continue

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  Wheel love

  LOVEBIRDS Verity Carroll and Ingo Schommer will celebrate their second anniversary this Valentine’s Day, on wheels. The capital couple started going out on February 14, 2008, and plan to spend part of their anniversary at the Frocks on Bikes – Love to Roll event… Continue

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  Sailors at the Sevens

  THREE Wellington City Council employees are swapping their day attire for “flirty” sailor uniforms at the much-anticipated Rugby Sevens. Anita Denzel, Jodi Turton and Hanna Stephen came across five sailor-girl outfits on Trademe, and decided they would be the… Continue

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  Going Public

  SPORTS CAFÉ is dropping the sports and going Public. Gina and Nick Mills of Chicago Sports Café fame purchased the bar on Courtenay Place from defunct owners CEA Trading in July, with the intention of giving it a makeover. The new restaurant/bar is named Public,… Continue

• What the hell is futsal?

  PELE learned his skills from it. Ronaldo says it is the game he loves the most. But it’s not football, it’s futsal. Brazil’s most successful sporting export (after Pele and Ronaldo), futsal is five-a-side version of the round ball game (the only FIFA approved… Continue

• Phoenix ready to fire

  WELLINGTON College boy Tim Brown has captained the New Zealand All Whites, earned his stripes in the competitive American college league, and played professionally for the Newcastle Jets football team. Now he faces a new challenge as vice captain of the Phoenix… Continue

Columns

• It’s just a game

  BEFORE last week, I had never heard of Billy Cundiff.  If anyone had asked me who he was I would have guessed a B-movie actor. I found out all about him as the Baltimore Ravens missed their chance to go to the Super Bowl.  Playing against the New England… Continue

• No publicity is bad publicity

  A mate who has the unenviable task of trying to wangle information out of Super 15 teams in his role as a rugby reporter was having a moan the other day about how hard it was to get information. Players could tweet something, and he would try and follow it up,… Continue

• No place for fluff

  FLUFF.  That’s what we were served up over Christmas, and it made me (for one) look further afield for a sporting fix as I luxuriated in the best summer a Southern traveller could ever want. I hate fluff. If I could, I’d convince SKY TV to get… Continue

• A child’s perspective

  MERRY Christmas everybody, and a sunny, warm and suitably salubrious New Year.  I’ve been doing this column for so long now, that I forget what I say every Christmas. I see from a quick scan through the archives that is usually something along the lines… Continue

• Big business

  I knew that whole asset sales thingy at the election would end up coming back to bite us in the bum.  Not because what the Government is planning doesn’t have some merit (albeit with a few fish hooks), but because the New Zealand Rugby fish heads would… Continue

• Come on fattie

  IF you’re a wee bit obese, don’t exercise much, and like wearing tracksuits, you probably shouldn’t read any further as it may not be good for your blood pressure.  There, that’s the health warning this week. I’ve always liked… Continue

• Sporting priorities

  INTO the final week of the election campaign and what have we heard about sport and recreation? Green prescriptions, cutting the school day so sport can be added, participation levels and blah-di-blah blah blah. I suppose that when we’re in a state of… Continue

• Women are tough

  I had a girlfriend once who was a fairly handy hockey player.  This was back in the day when ‘water turf’ meant it had been raining in Dunedin for a week and Logan Park was a lake.  Games were played on grass – grass often churned up… Continue

• Ratepayers suffer for council follies

  HERE’S the deal: a number of people (let’s say, for argument’s sake, 10) from varying backgrounds get together around a table once a month where they are presented with reports by a bunch of other people paid to produce such reports. This varied… Continue

• Radio blues

  THE Radio Network’s decision to pull coverage of Plunket Shield cricket games has seen many sports reporters and cricket commentators calling this the “thin end of the wedge”. Setting aside the fact they should be getting their own clichés… Continue

• Prayers of relief

  I would like to begin this week by thanking the large and jolly bouncer on the door at the Mac’s bar on Sunday night. After realizing at halftime I was unable to take any more of the tension, I had to get out of the bar.  I spent the next 40 minutes… Continue

• Obscene laws of supply and demand

  Stories about All Blacks being drunk, favourites getting knocked out in the quarter finals (well, we know all about that), the IRB being hopeless….so much material for a column. Nevertheless, I wanted to go back a bit to a story that broke a few weeks… Continue

• And so it came to pass

  NEWS: A Massey University religious historian says the intensity of the Rugby World Cup signals a “new evolution in this fixation on rugby”, and proves that rugby is close to a religion in this country. All Blacks are given icon status, and nods… Continue

• A bit random

  A week of random thoughts: Reasons why Wellington (gosh darn it, reasons why all of New Zealand) is better than Auckland came to the fore yet again at the weekend thanks to the Rugby World Cup. Multi-millionaire Colin Giltrap thought it would be nice to put… Continue

• Broadcasting - the IRB knows best

  THERE’S been something bugging me about the Rugby World Cup television coverage and it finally came to me during the All Blacks match versus Japan on Friday.  The TV commentators (on SKY anyway, I haven’t listened to any others) studiously avoid… Continue

• To watch the rugby

  My bid to become a ‘comedian’ or B-list entertainer to help me avoid a criminal conviction ran out of time last week.  I had hoped one of the major dailies or new networks would run a story about me titled “Comedian Who Makes People Laugh… Continue

• To avoid sports radio

  “NEWS” radio is so dire now that I find even short trips into town are an exercise in channel-surfing.  In the mornings, you can hear the latest North African crisis, a failed and bitter former MP, or a shill at just the push of a button. Or three.… Continue

• Car parts a no-no

  SPARE a thought for any sport other than rugby over the next six weeks, because you are about to be deluged with non-stop fifteen-a-side news. Other than the playoff-bound Warriors, all other sports will struggle to make any headway in the news media. We’ve… Continue

• Terminally stupid

  “IT’S Eat A Bulldog Day,” he said excitedly down the phone.  “What do you think?” “I’ll need your credit card details first,” I said.  So what you’re saying is that you’ll have a promotion… Continue

• Pink eye

  Because our second tier rugby players in this year’s national provincial championship are having to play games in a short turnaround time our Editor asked me what I thought about the potential for more injuries. I thought it might make a nice change from… Continue

• Rugby League has control

  THE English Premier League starts this weekend.  But last weekend the next tier down Football Championship started – a great opportunity for the lesser clubs to get some press coverage in the major English papers before the world’s most over-paid… Continue

• Financial disaster looms

  “SPORT can’t be afforded a soft touch. It’s still a commercial operation. Running big events is a risky, complex issue and it’s a timely reminder about the importance of good governance.” So said Sport and Recreation NZ CEO Peter… Continue

• Overpaid Athletes

  MY six year old son has turned into a bit of a pious behavioural quality control freak. I personally blame the Catholic school system. I often hear “Dad, treat people as you would want to be treated yourself” these days. This is the same kid who,… Continue

• Avoid the red tape

  “OH hello, my name is X and I’m co-ordinating the Rugby World Cup in your region. Can you tell me what your club is organising for the Rugby World Cup?” “Oh yeah, sure. At this very moment I’m erecting a huge American Express sign… Continue

• Netball, a ‘gurls’ weekend

  FIRSTLY, a disclaimer.  Netball is good to watch.  I had the netball round at the Otago Daily Times back in the day and enjoyed it immensely (and not for the reasons most sick minds are thinking). The players were good copy, the games (outdoors, in shitty… Continue

• User pays unfair on kids

  YOU know you’re getting over sport when finding a story about pouring beer at the World Cup and what the Silver Ferns eat for breakfast in the Sunday papers throws you over the edge. In reality, it had been a long weekend – with kids’ rugby starting… Continue

• What a stupid idea

  There’s’  something about sport administration that just gives me the screaming heebee-jeebees. I’ve thought that once someone becomes a sports administrator, they become subject to some kind of moral disengagement – but then I did… Continue

• Who cares about winning?

  WINNING is a bit of an abstract construct these days. When I was young, my parents didn’t mind whether I won or lost so long as I had attempted to do my best. Nowadays, standing on the sideline at my own children’s sports, it seems winning or losing… Continue

• On coaches... managing the man

  THE Big Nipper and I were laying out jerseys in preparation for Saturday’s rugby game when he read out one of the ‘famous’ quotes on the wall. It says: “This team isn’t about Roger or me – it’s about you and how much you’re… Continue

• Watching the World Cup

  I am extremely grateful to Awa Press this week. I would have written myself into an aneurysm about either the changes to the Highlanders’ jersey or the monumental FUBAR at FIFA. Instead, somewhat belatedly (sorry, publishers) my wife suggested that for my… Continue

• In the presence of greatness

  YOU know when you are in the presence of sporting greatness by the degree of calmness in times of need. That may sound like some grippy hippy-dippy quote from some hand-wringing motivational website, but it was a sudden realization I had on Friday night after… Continue

• Pedantic pricks

  Last week seemed to be my week for attracting fruitcakes.  I wouldn’t have minded if they were the ones with big juicy sultanas, but they were the human kind – with sultanas for brains. Funnily enough, all of them had a connection with sport.… Continue

• It’s all about winning

  I don’t know what all the fuss is about the mother who gave her 8-year old beauty pageant wannabe daughter botox. I mean, it’s all about winning, isn’t it?  At least that’s what my good friend Dr. Gunter tells me.  You do whatever… Continue

• I need a first five

  KNEE strain (x2), broken foot, dislocated elbow (x2), torn hip, torn hamstring, torn medial ligament, torn knee cartilage, broken thumb, concussion, loss of peripheral vision, hemiplegic migraine (which presented as paralysis), and other bits and bobs of a joint… Continue

• An administrator’s guide: especially for netballers

  WELCOME to the Capital Times’ handy guide to nationality status for sports administrators. First of all, we’d like to introduce everyone to Catherine, our first case study.  Catherine says: “My dad is Tongan-born and my mum is European. … Continue

• Hard words

  “No, venal isn’t the right word.  That means bribable.  If anyone was going to be venal as a result of this, it would be the New Zealand public,” I heard a columnist say as I walked into the press conference last week. “Um, what… Continue

• Time for a Zambuck award

  EVERY year I see some cheesy ‘acknowledge your sports volunteers’ awards from one organization or another. With all due respect to those volunteers who have done the hard yards, I think there should be another category. You couldn’t call it the… Continue

• That Waka

  I’m probably breaking a whole series of confidentiality arrangements by saying this, but the Big Plastic Rugby World Cup Waka (BPRWCW) is partly my fault. It’s mainly Dr. Thaddeus Jack’s (aka the Point Howard Stalker) fault though.  Having… Continue

• Find me a clean ashtray

  “Have a cigar, old boy, and a seat.”  The vice-chair of the International Rugby Board took a long pull from his glass of Chateau Mouton Rothschild and lit his own cigar. “Jesus!” I exclaimed.  “That’s a 100 pound note!” … Continue

• Don’t criticise the referee?

  “CONTACT wing attack.” “Contact goal defence.” “Contact centre.” “Contact contact contact…” Listening to a netball commentary reminds me in part of a telephone operator with obsessive compulsive disorder coupled… Continue

• Maybe money reigns in the wrong places

  THIS isn’t another one of those “back when I was a young fella” columns at all, but back when I was a young fella, I remember money raining from the sky. At least, that’s what it seemed like. Pokie machine money seemed to rain down (to a… Continue

• Why can’t we all get along?

  AH, the land of the free (time, lots of it) and the home of the brave (so long as they have legal backing) strikes again. Literally. The National Football League in the USA has had the threat of no games raised for the first time since 1987 after “billionaire… Continue

• Don’t abuse the kids

  THERE’S something about parents and how they react to their kids’ sport. You have the enthusiastic volunteer:  the person who gets roped into running the team, organising gear, and turning up at 8.30am on Saturday morning to make sure everyone is ready to… Continue

• Sports reporting turns to gossip

  LAST week it seemed Sonny Bill Williams’ media advisors had come back from a long holiday. We had Sonny Bill boxing, Sonny Bill’s response to a shin stress fracture, Sonny Bill might have suffered an embolism (he didn’t), Sonny Bill’s goals, Sonny Bill wanting… Continue

• Future of sport

  The Otago Daily Times ran a short piece in its World liftout last week in which various folk from around the world banged on about how the world would be in 35 years. Mike Lee, the former director of communications for the London Olympics bid, opined; “Sport will… Continue

• Christmas is over

  Christmas is over, 2011 is here, and now we have a new year.  It is one that is already being dominated by headlines such as “Russian President to visit Taranaki for World Cup” (lucky him!) and “Why We Can’t Win the Rugby World Cup”. The stories that have… Continue

• Who’s been a good sport, then

  YOU better watch out (All Blacks), you better not cry (Black Caps), you better not pout (any English Premier League manager), I’m telling you why – the annual Capital Times sporting year in review is coming to town (apologies to Barry Manilow). Everyone else… Continue

• Have a partridge

  Ah Christmas, that time of year when we all either eat or drink too much (or combine both for a cracking headache on Boxing Day), break out the backyard cricket sets or beach volleyball nets, and generally end up either heading back to the BBQ or in A&E after… Continue

• Money grubbers

  Wow. How exciting. A Grand Slam. What an achievement. What a boon for the NZRFU bank balance, more likely. The departure of most of New Zealand’s rugby journalists to the Northern Hemisphere to do their Christmas shopping and be BFF’s with Graham Henry and company… Continue

• Walk a mile in another’s shoes

  WHILST realizing some cyclists are absolute morons (hi, cycle couriers!) I was gobsmacked at the outpouring of hatred on talkback and in online forums last week after the large number of cycling fatalities and serious crashes. Five cyclists were killed in about… Continue

• Headbutt no accident

  DESPITE having a few jolly japes with the chaps about Keven Mealamu’s flying headbutt on England rugby captain Lewis Moody last week, I was quickly shut up when the video of the incident arrived on several new websites. Mealamu clearly pulled Moody’s jersey up… Continue

• Bastketball a-head

  I WAS watching the Miami Heat play most of the game behind the New Orleans Hornets on Saturday (I am currently stalking LeBron James in the hope he has enough money and will come and play basketball here). In the second half, the game announcers said that Hornets’… Continue

• Unlucky rugby

  I was tempted this week to go on ad nauseam for the millionth time about how rugby’s PR machine is like that of the North Korean official press agency, until I saw a little gem from ESPN. They assembled a team of sport scientists in an attempt to work out what… Continue

• Sticks in the mud

  New Zealand Cricket and Wayne Rooney find themselves in a similar position these days. Both are hated by their fans, off their game, and see no sign of light at the end of the long dark tunnel. The difference is that Rooney can go to another club with perhaps… Continue

• Get real Swimming NZ

  Oh God – Swimming New Zealand might lose some funding because their swim team didn’t achieve at the FUBAR Games! What can they do to get back in SPARC’s good books? Ooh, ooh, Daniel Bell had a couple of beers after the competition finished. Let’s make him a… Continue

• Gonzo diary of Delhi

  From the personal diary of Dr Thaddeus Jack, PR troubleshooter, occasional bush lawyer, and Point Howard’s man about town (no, he is not a peeping Tom. Seriously. Well, OK…) DELHI, DAY ONE: After that wee incident with BP bloke Tony Hayward, I thought I’d never… Continue

• Losing World Cup, again, won’t mean violence

  A GREAT piece of ‘shoot yourself in the foot’ PR by policy wonks at police national HQ has New Zealand pegged for a domestic violence explosion if the All Blacks fail to win the World Cup next year. Citing a report that showed that after a Scottish Cup football… Continue

• A bogged federation

  WE in the so-called developed world either operate under one of two coping mechanisms. Stiff upper lip, or whine bitch and moan. In the developing world, however (I’d call it the Third World but I’m not quite sure what happened to the Second World) there is one… Continue

• Watch council spending on sport

  I haven’t said too much about the Christchurch earthquake because a) it’s not sporting-related, and b) it appears Lancaster Park and their other sporting facilities have stood up to scratch. The notable omission from that list is poor old Porritt Park, the home… Continue

• A random week for sport

  My mind is all over the show this week. Due to my shortened attention span, all I can offer is this collection of random thoughts. ONE YEAR OUT FROM THE RUGBY WORLD CUP: Yes, I know we touched on this hoo-ha last week, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw… Continue

• Smail trail

  IN the same day that one fella was unbanned for flopping out his, um, old fella, another fella covered in what hopefully was chocolate ended up in the news. David File received a 10 year ban from silly old curmudgeonly Bowls NZ for firing the salami around after… Continue

• French footy fans

  THE French and passion have been inextricably linked in literature, politics, interpersonal relations, and sport for many years. Eric Cantona’s karate kick into the crowd while playing for Manchester United, Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt in the World Cup final, French… Continue

• Morons designed Dunedin white elephant

  “WHAT?” thundered Dunedin Mayor Peter Chin.  “We’re spending $200 ****ing million to build a concrete box with a ****ing plastic roof and nothing else?” “The grass.  We’re paying for grass.  We’ll have grass…” said Dunedin Venues Management Ltd… Continue

• It’s just not cricket

  NICE to see cricket boss Justin Vaughan and soccer boss Michael Glading reaching out across the sporting divide to condemn the “drinking behaviour” of New Zealanders at sporting events. Of course, I’m kidding. These two wowsers have put the hype back in hypocrite… Continue

• By the throat

  IN keeping with all the other enactments being, well, enacted for some big sporting event in September next year, New Zealand-born press photographer Scott Barbour has given the sporting powers-that-be a golden opportunity. According to sources close to the aforementioned… Continue

• Don't bet on it

  ONE from the “Nanny Knows Best” file…or perhaps the “Ban Everything In The Hope Of Creating A Mindless Utopia” file comes this little gem: “The National Rugby League is under investigation after repeatedly advertising an Australian gambling game on the Warriors’… Continue

• Vying for Paul the Octopus

  WHILE it might appear the All Blacks have got their collective mojo together for the Rugby World Cup (although like a certain Lower Hutt barrister, I’m still planning on dragging out the rosary beads come next year), there are disturbing developments elsewhere.… Continue

• Not too genius

  A bid by Auckland Mayor John Banks for the 2020 Olympics will be funded by a one-off payment of $28,571.67 for every man, woman, and child in the Auckland region, some genius announced today. “Of course we can’t ask people to put up this money without some kind… Continue

• Sport rules

  SOME of my best friends are accountants.  OK, so I have some friends who are accountants, but they’re not my best friends.  OK, so they’re more like acquaintances. As the old joke goes, accountants in general are renowned for using their personality… Continue

• Pushed to the limit

  IT was interesting to read of Sir Peter Snell’s heart issues at the weekend.  I remember reading an article years ago about the effects of high intensity activity on the body. Essentially, it stated that some people were putting themselves at risk by continuously… Continue

• Cruel jokes

  Sport is cruel.  One only had to witness the flood of jokes hitting the interweb thingy after England’s World Cup football match with the USA. Before the game, the jokes were all aimed at the Americans  (“Tim Howard, the American keeper, better watch… Continue

• Love eggs and football

  I should note that I stole the following, holus-bolus, from an eminent English newspaper. Mainly because I couldn’t put it better myself. The England Scoregasm. Where to begin with this wildly uncalled-for sex aid? Perhaps with the blurb, which informs us:… Continue

• Sport workaholics

  ONE of my rugby players came up to me on Saturday and said that he had seen me helping organize another sporting event on Friday night and wondered if I ever slept. “What do you mean?” I asked, having got a decent night’s kip all last week. “Well, you had a hockey… Continue

• Pretty damn inane

  I’VE been trying to think of something to teach the students I bore senseless once a week and had decided for ease of presentation it was time to have a look at social media.  Being a regular facebooker, an irregular tweeter (@paddylewis) and a blogger (amongst… Continue

• Not because of Ma’a Nonu

  AFTER the furore over Ma’a Nonu saying phark seven times on the wireless, I was surprised that while he was blamed for being vocabularily-challenged, no-one asked why the idiot holding the microphone or the bigger idiot in the production studio didn’t hit the kill… Continue

• Don’t forget Mother’s Day

  I studiously avoided all sport last week, thanks to lots of work and no desire to watch overpaid glamour boys give the sportswriters of New Zealand more doom and gloom to write about. I avoided the netball too (no comment on why as I don’t think the editor needs… Continue

• Don't mention the sponsor

  I AM currently grappling with the small matter of a provincial sports teams’ $450,000 budget being put at risk through a silly policy, which directly affects my principles. My dear wife, bless her, put up with my last matter of principle (walking away from a well-paid… Continue

• Give it a break

  I laughed myself silly last week reading about the furore surrounding the women’s World Tour surfing event this week in Taranaki.   For those who came in late, Taranaki surfers are upset that the top 17 female surfers in the world are surfing their local… Continue

• Southland’s champagne product

  FIRSTLY, some figures.   The Los Angeles Lakers spend NZ$158 million on player salaries per year.  Each NRL team is allowed to spend NZ$5.3 million on players.  Anecdotally, the lowest salary bill in the Air New Zealand Cup is $800,000 (take a bow,… Continue

• I can't cheat

  LAST week, a correspondent wrote in relation to a previous column “Is Paddy saying he would have owned up to cheating? He’s either very noble or very naive.” The letter itself seemed eminently fair and reasonable, but as I pondered that question, I realised I… Continue

• $300,000 for a media officer

  FANTASTIC news last week!   I qualified for the World Towel Butt Flicking Championships after fighting off my wife and two kids in a battle to the death in our hallway. I immediately rang parliament and asked to speak to John Key’s office about my $300,000… Continue

• The handball goal

  I’M not sure why Ricki Herbert and the Phoenix got so upset after Chris Payne’s handball goal last Saturday.   Everyone knows you can’t trust Australians to do the right thing, and the Aussies are known for omitting the phrase “fair play” in favour of “whatever… Continue

• On sportsmanship

  I saw the most bizarre penalty incident on the BBC website last weekend.  Welsh Scarlets lock Lou Reed, playing against Ulster, ran at an opposition winger yelling “Arrrrghhhh!!!!” to try and put the winger off a clearing kick. Reed was never going to get… Continue

• Drooling dictators who refuse to die

  WE were awarded the Rugby World Cup in November 2005. Last week, Auckland mayors finally decided that the $97 million wharf revamp to build (cough) “Party Central” and a cruise ship berth would not go ahead. It only took four years and the small matter of that… Continue

• Hurricanes management loses the plot

  I recall a certain CEO I worked for calling me into his office some years ago.   He had received a letter accusing me of being a two-timing scoundrel. It’s true.  At the time I was.  I was going through my “avant-garde raconteur man about town (i.e.… Continue

• Thanks for the N.H. Stadium debacle

  NICE to see the fruitbats who turn up at most world events to disrupt things didn’t let the side down during the first couple of days of the Vancouver winter Olympics. The Olympic Resistance Network smashed a few windows, had a couple of marches, and so on. … Continue

• Sevens supporters and more

  IN this last of the latest series, let’s have a jolly good look at supporters. Supporters aren’t easily classified as players and administrators are, but usually fall into one of several general camps – looney good, looney bad, long-suffering (come on in, Otago… Continue

• Average club Joe

  AFTER the furore last week’s column created amongst all the sports administrators I have to deal with, I thought I’d take my death wish further and look at the various types of player and/or athlete your average club Joe has to deal with.   Luckily most of… Continue

• I hate meetings

  I desperately wanted to write a rude word at the beginning of this column.   Despite my former journalism colleagues deciding years ago my epitaph would be “I Can’t Imagine Life Without Stress”, it got to me last week. I hate meetings. Meetings are for people… Continue

• Dunedin Stadium fuzzies

  IN BETWEEN going outside and getting rained on, I’ve spent some of my break working on a new professional sports franchise, only to come to my déjà-vu conclusion that sport in New Zealand, were it a private sector business, would not exist. It’s only thanks to… Continue

• On good sports writing

  IT’S 20 years since I was discharged into the world of journalism and quickly discovered that a) sports reporters get double time (it was 20 years ago) and b) a press pass can get you into every possible thing you want to go and see. I used to enjoy covering events… Continue

• The old Year in Review time

  THE TIGER WOODS NAUGHTY BOY AWARD: Has to go to the NRL. Take your pick: Danny Wicks (Newcastle), drug dealing; Greg Inglis (Melbourne), beating up his girlfriend; Setaimata Sa (Roosters) assaulting a copper; Jake Friend (Roosters) range of booze-fuelled incidents;… Continue

• Air NZ Cup decision

  To: Paddy Lewis From: NZRFU media HQ Subject: Please Don’t Mr Lewis – We are aware that after today’s decision on the Air NZ Cup you are probably going to make up some sort of utterance about “flip flops” or “lack of leadership”. Can we suggest, in the spirit… Continue

• All Black dissent

  “GOOD news,” said the young intern as he stumbled in the door.   “The All Blacks’ win has rated 579 favourable mentions from the press, including Murray Deaker.” “That brainless oaf,” said the man at the head of the table, face in shadow, “At least he’s… Continue

• NZ racing

  FIRSTLY, a disclosure: I am, somewhat unwittingly, a shareholder in a harness racing breeding conflagration.   By that I mean that my expert wife and her expert brother burn money breeding and training supposedly brilliant nags in their spare time in the… Continue

• Camp All Blacks

  “I love doing normal things - movies, shopping, going out with friends, writing, reading, taking hot bubble baths - that’s a big one for relaxation. I also love to go to art and history museums.” “(I) also love fashion so it’s fantastic to be here in Milan for… Continue

• Football nation

  WHEN I was growing up, I wasn’t the most robust child.   After a couple of years of rugby, my father decided a year of raw meat, spinach and manual labour might be the answer while I took the season off. This was all rather perplexing to a seven year old,… Continue

• Problems in NZ football

  IT’S a fairly safe bet that New Zealand Football (formerly Soccer NZ) won’t be the subject of any case studies on successful sporting management. However, given their ability to produce pigs’ ears out of everything, they might be invited to present papers to a… Continue

Reviews

• Dolled up for the Sevens

  CANDY likes to show off her firm breasts. And her boyfriend, Dirk, is all for it. The plastic-fantastic Wellington couple have been wearing their revealing outfits in The Plumbing Store’s display window for the past week in the lead up to the Wellington Sevens.… Continue